Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I can't turn off my feet"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
