Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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