i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Randomize
