Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
