I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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