i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
