Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
