I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
