Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
