i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
