i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I could fuck to npr.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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