omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
