I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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