I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
