those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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