Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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