just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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