yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
