You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize