Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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