wanna go halves on a baby?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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