Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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