i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
