goodnight i made you a song goodbye
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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