If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex