Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.

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  (603): I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome. http://tfl.nu/ibqv
  Replies (16) Good night (5515) Bad night (1311)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?

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  (773): I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex. (773): Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"? http://tfl.nu/bxnr
  Replies (15) Good night (791) Bad night (2091)
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  (650): View more from California

  my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp

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  (650): my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp http://tfl.nu/twts
  Replies (13) Good night (2878) Bad night (570)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation

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  (720): Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation http://tfl.nu/efec
  Replies (77) Good night (5233) Bad night (1356)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside

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  (724): I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside http://tfl.nu/gfts
  Replies (23) Good night (1198) Bad night (4308)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?

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  (703): Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning? http://tfl.nu/g5lh
  Replies (4) Good night (1744) Bad night (5050)
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  (714): View more from California

  drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.

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  (714): drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well. http://tfl.nu/2mtg
  Replies (26) Good night (8142) Bad night (1416)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.

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  (618): Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers. http://tfl.nu/lte3
  Replies (7) Good night (3170) Bad night (1093)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either

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  (902): He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either http://tfl.nu/fc5z
  Replies (5) Good night (2834) Bad night (855)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.

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  (740): Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake. http://tfl.nu/l7w3
  Replies (6) Good night (709) Bad night (1636)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.

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  (210): What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that. http://tfl.nu/vntm
  Replies (12) Good night (1686) Bad night (390)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.

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  (614): I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower. http://tfl.nu/c26q
  Replies (15) Good night (535) Bad night (1077)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  You're so romantic.

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  (406): I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you. (1-406): You're so romantic. http://tfl.nu/mrz2
  Replies (2) Good night (1066) Bad night (362)
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  (951): View more from California

  I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.

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  (951): I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays. http://tfl.nu/owjt
  Replies (0) Good night (258) Bad night (675)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.

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  (815): the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa. http://tfl.nu/pziy
  Replies (9) Good night (517) Bad night (574)

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