would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.