Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.

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  (425): my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired. http://tfl.nu/08pz
  Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (2129)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave

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  (413): before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave http://tfl.nu/loh3
  Replies (26) Good night (8298) Bad night (790)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations

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  (216): Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations http://tfl.nu/f8qq
  Replies (18) Good night (5477) Bad night (822)
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  (925): View more from California

  I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??

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  (925): I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing?? http://tfl.nu/da8e
  Replies (14) Good night (3808) Bad night (978)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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  (803): She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD. http://tfl.nu/b7tw
  Replies (13) Good night (1444) Bad night (3131)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.

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  (207): He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice. http://tfl.nu/mmqq
  Replies (12) Good night (4892) Bad night (1807)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep

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  (773): she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/xysb
  Replies (11) Good night (1884) Bad night (1105)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.

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  (913): But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress. http://tfl.nu/jhgc
  Replies (3) Good night (923) Bad night (503)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass

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  (301): I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass http://tfl.nu/ww71
  Replies (3) Good night (902) Bad night (569)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.

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  (515): Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away. http://tfl.nu/jux9
  Replies (2) Good night (1242) Bad night (513)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.

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  (814): Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good. http://tfl.nu/cttc
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (373)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.

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  (850): I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons. http://tfl.nu/n48b
  Replies (6) Good night (1313) Bad night (382)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall

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  (719): Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall http://tfl.nu/gilf
  Replies (0) Good night (700) Bad night (308)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.

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  (630): you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way. http://tfl.nu/lvrh
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (354)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.

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  (973): We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt. http://tfl.nu/5mpd
  Replies (3) Good night (440) Bad night (229)

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