spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
