we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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