I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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