Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
