Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
third nipple confirmed
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
