If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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