I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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