so that wasnt chicken after all
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
