who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
