Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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