just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
