so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
