R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
