Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
