I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
