i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
