opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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