Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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