He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
