Me too!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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