That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
