So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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