If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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