how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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