Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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