ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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