its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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