so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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