I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
