If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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