Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
