theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
