dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Semen is not good for contacts.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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