Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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