the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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