Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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