just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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