You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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