I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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