so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
