this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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